Coffee snob espresso-ordering techniques

30 Aug

I had no idea people even behaved like this:

 

“You’re using a blend? What are the different regions in there?”

“I like a brighter-tasting espresso. How would you describe yours?”

“Are you dialed in to your machine? When was it last serviced?”

“I was in France, and they pull their shots for about 65 seconds, and then dip a croissant in it. Kind of like a cookie in milk. Can you do that for me? Do you have twice-baked croissants?”

“I want my espresso iced, but can you pull the shot into a centimeter of water, just to save the espresso from souring? Also, do you have almond milk?”

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2012/08/how_not_to_order_espresso.php

At least now I don’t feel so bad for squeaking shyly: “Do you do macchiato?”

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