Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

Heston’s awesome steak-cooking method – tender as a lamb

11 Jan

This is what I did:

Buy a tender cut of steak.

Drive home for 90 minutes (ie the steak is not refrigerated for 2 hours). Put salt all over the steak (not pepper or it will scorch in the pan).

Heat butter in very hot pan.

Add steak and flip it every 15-20 seconds.

Once a nice tasty crust forms on the outside (or the steak is cooked to your liking on the inside) remove it and rest on a wire rack for 5 minutes (over a plate).

Serve with whatever.

I just reheated it at work for lunch and it was still delicious on the outside and tender on the inside – not to mention juicy!

Heston: “By flipping the meat every 15–20 seconds, the steak will develop a crisp flavoursome exterior without being overcooked in the centre.”

Heston air dries the meat in the fridge for 2 days on a cake rack prior to cooking. (I didn’t do that so I can only imagine how tasty it would be if I had! He also inserts a thermometer into the cooking steak to see when it has reached rare/medium/well. I didn’t do that either. For a rarer steak I should have flipped more frequently on a hotter pan.

Mindfulness when life is mad hectic

9 Jan

Multitasking fail

When life is mad hectic, it is easy to do a bevy of tasks quickly and without thought, to make sure they get done. I can’t stress enough how important mindfulness is during such occasions. I deal with a large number of clients at once, each with their own distinct issues and problems and situations and circumstances, and each liable to ring me at any time to discuss the letter or email they received minutes, hours, days, months or even years ago.

In order to call up their information in my mind, knowing instantly who they are, what their matter relates to, and what its status is, I need to be mindful as I type, file, read, speak and strategise, in order to give each and every one of them the attention and diligence they deserve.

Yes – seems obvious.

But how often do you post a letter and then think “Did I put a stamp on that?” Or “Did I lock the car?” etc.

Often the answer is “Yes – I did it automatically.” But you never really know until you get back to your car, or the other person receives the letter. Doing things – even everyday tasks – without being mindful makes life extra stressy. All you can think about is that potentially unlocked car or the letter being returned to sender for lack of a stamp.

Performing tasks in a focused, single-minded manner so that you can distinctly remember doing them and can immediately feel confident you did them correctly can significantly reduce your stress levels when life is mad hectic.

The Gage – Chi-Town

22 Sep

We are in Chicago and this is what we ate last night:

Bison tartare – soooooo good


And this duck breast and confit of leg and something called vegetables under it:


Washed down with this delicious Pinot noir:


Mrs CL ate elk with raspberries and it too was scrumptious.

I had no idea Chicago was such a gastronomic delight but it is a lovely surprise!

Now with Foreword from Rikard Nicholey: “Fuck you, C*nt!”

7 Sep

I have had such success with my CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss that renowned paleo blogger Rikard Nicholey of has now penned a foreword endorsing the effectiveness of the diet, which will be included in version 2.0.

Rikard Nicholey’s Foreword: “Fuck you, c*nt!”

If that doesn’t inspire you to join in the fun, nothing will!

Thanks, Rikard!

Testimonials: CaveLesbian’s Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss

7 Sep
What a response! In the first 10 minutes since the cookbook was published, I received the following testimonials about the success of the CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss!!
@wodfather: I regrew hair and my lisp disssssappeared
@gone2croatan:  It cured my persistent cough and bum leg! And also got me laid!
@meeses: I think my canine anxiety might be totally gone!
@privateuser: I now have the perfect female physique, meaning shredded abs but still have big boobs and a butt. Thank you.
@cookingdirty: Just reading it cured EVERYTHING!
@GertrudeIII: I have gained higher self-esteem and smaller (looking) hips!
Don’t delay – get my free cookbook now!

Free CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss!!

7 Sep

A lot of people ask me to post more recipes on this blog. I happen to think there are enough paleo recipes floating around to fatten my entire Twitter Feed (and their wallets!) a hundred times over for twice the term of their natural lives (which is admittedly much longer if you are paleo), so I have been understandably lax.

However, I have noticed that many paleo folks are so enthusiastic about all the scrumptious paleo recipes and paleo ‘versions’ of their favourite junk foods (meatza, fat bread, bacon-with-everything, paleo pumpkin pie, EVOO mayonnaise, coconut butter, pork belly, bunless McDonalds feasts, paleo-crumbed fried chicken in duck fat) that they, like me, are having trouble shifting the last few kilos of pre-paleo lard (and I refer not to the delicious porcine lard variety – but to real human love-handle lard). To assist my calorically challenged friends in paleo land (for, it turns out calories DO count and unfettered LCHF satfat guzzling doesn’t sustain weight loss long term), I have written a paleo cookbook!! And am giving it away for free!!

My brand-spanking new CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss cookbook is based on the most recent research to turn everything we know about food and weight loss on its head – the food reward hypothesis. The recipes are specifically tailored to target fat loss through low palatability and low reward (otherwise known as “simple” or “bland”), without leaving you hungry and spending hours in the kitchen turning nuts into butter and fermenting your own sauerkraut. The theory behind food reward is that we just eat too darn much, and that’s why we get fat! And the reason we eat too darn much is that food tastes too darn good! Paleo-peeps are literally OBSESSED WITH FOOD! To free yourself from this prison of gluttony, you need my new book pronto!

But clearly a cookbook with boring and flavourless recipes will be impossible to sell. Ergo I am publishing the whole thing for free!! Right here in this blog post!

My guarantee: If you eat to fullness every day only from my recipes, I can guarantee you will lose that stubborn weight that won’t shift even though you have slavishly followed all the other popular paleo cookbook recipes!

CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss:

Steak, potato and spinach

Boil a steak
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

Chicken potato and spinach

Boil a chicken breast
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

Fish, potato and spinach

Boil a fish
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

**All these recipes can be easily converted to vegetarian and vegan by omitting the animal products

And there you have it! Effortless weight loss on the paleo diet without feeling hungry! (cos that’s what it’s all about!)

Coffee snob espresso-ordering techniques

30 Aug

I had no idea people even behaved like this:


“You’re using a blend? What are the different regions in there?”

“I like a brighter-tasting espresso. How would you describe yours?”

“Are you dialed in to your machine? When was it last serviced?”

“I was in France, and they pull their shots for about 65 seconds, and then dip a croissant in it. Kind of like a cookie in milk. Can you do that for me? Do you have twice-baked croissants?”

“I want my espresso iced, but can you pull the shot into a centimeter of water, just to save the espresso from souring? Also, do you have almond milk?”

At least now I don’t feel so bad for squeaking shyly: “Do you do macchiato?”