A lot of people ask me to post more recipes on this blog. I happen to think there are enough paleo recipes floating around to fatten my entire Twitter Feed (and their wallets!) a hundred times over for twice the term of their natural lives (which is admittedly much longer if you are paleo), so I have been understandably lax.
However, I have noticed that many paleo folks are so enthusiastic about all the scrumptious paleo recipes and paleo ‘versions’ of their favourite junk foods (meatza, fat bread, bacon-with-everything, paleo pumpkin pie, EVOO mayonnaise, coconut butter, pork belly, bunless McDonalds feasts, paleo-crumbed fried chicken in duck fat) that they, like me, are having trouble shifting the last few kilos of pre-paleo lard (and I refer not to the delicious porcine lard variety – but to real human love-handle lard). To assist my calorically challenged friends in paleo land (for, it turns out calories DO count and unfettered LCHF satfat guzzling doesn’t sustain weight loss long term), I have written a paleo cookbook!! And am giving it away for free!!
My brand-spanking new CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss cookbook is based on the most recent research to turn everything we know about food and weight loss on its head – the food reward hypothesis. The recipes are specifically tailored to target fat loss through low palatability and low reward (otherwise known as “simple” or “bland”), without leaving you hungry and spending hours in the kitchen turning nuts into butter and fermenting your own sauerkraut. The theory behind food reward is that we just eat too darn much, and that’s why we get fat! And the reason we eat too darn much is that food tastes too darn good! Paleo-peeps are literally OBSESSED WITH FOOD! To free yourself from this prison of gluttony, you need my new book pronto!
But clearly a cookbook with boring and flavourless recipes will be impossible to sell. Ergo I am publishing the whole thing for free!! Right here in this blog post!
My guarantee: If you eat to fullness every day only from my recipes, I can guarantee you will lose that stubborn weight that won’t shift even though you have slavishly followed all the other popular paleo cookbook recipes!
CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss:
Steak, potato and spinach
Boil a steak
Boil a potato
Steam spinach
Add to plate to serve
Do not season
Chicken potato and spinach
Boil a chicken breast
Boil a potato
Steam spinach
Add to plate to serve
Do not season
Fish, potato and spinach
Boil a fish
Boil a potato
Steam spinach
Add to plate to serve
Do not season
**All these recipes can be easily converted to vegetarian and vegan by omitting the animal products
And there you have it! Effortless weight loss on the paleo diet without feeling hungry! (cos that’s what it’s all about!)
Tags: paleo, recipes, satire, weightloss