Tag Archives: paleo

Is there any point to being paleo if you don’t have autoimmune issues?

9 Jan

I certainly see the benefits of whole foods, organic foods, and avoiding sugar and processed foods, but I am not gluten intolerant or lactose intolerant (if anything, I am shellfish intolerant!). And I get fat very quickly if I eat too many calories, regardless of how whole the coconut oil is and how grassfed the butter is and how much wheat I avoid.

I was initially quite traumatised by the following post but quickly started to think it had a valid point:

“Ok, so before you go calling me a hypocrite, or get upset with me because I have promoted this diet in the past let me explain.  First, I still think Paleo in general has some really great qualities.  For most people in our society, they are eating way too much processed crap and when they go “paleo” they feel better and many times they lose weight. People with aches, pains, and lack energy all the time, once on this diet, tend to see symptoms go away for at least awhile. So with all this said, why would I be not promoting it as heavily as I used to. Well there are a Few.

First: Is Rice Really aweful for you?? Asians have been eating rice for Thousands of years and don’t have many of the same problems that hard core Paleo Sycophants claim happen from eating this pretty neutral grain. Also, bodybuilders have been eating rice for years and remain pretty ripped. Japanese also have some of the lowest cases of heart disease in the world and also low on the scale of Cancer as well. In the case of rice quantity is key. Eating a serving isn’t going to cause you to break out in a fat suit or make your body blow up with inflammation. The problem with rice is people eat way too much of it. If we can just remember that our mouths are not a vacuum rice isn’t all that bad.

Second: FOOD IS NOT A RELIGION!!! When I was promoting this diet, I made the mistake of having clients google the paleo diet for recipes and ideas etc…..  It pretty much scared the hell out of many of them. There are blogs of people that would freak out if anyone dared give their kid a bit of processed food, and I also came across communities of  people actually basing friendships around only those that ate paleo. The focus on food goes beyond a healthy relationship with food especially for those the get sucked in. When I was on the diet eating  with others that ate Paleo I felt that everyone was looking over my shoulder when I ate. If I was eating a bag of nuts I couldn’t count how many times I would get asked “are there peanuts in there? You know peanuts aren’t a nut don’t you”? Go on discussions boards and you get people talking about being “orthodox” or “unorthodox” in their approach to eating Paleo.

Third: What the hell is wrong with Beans?

Besides possibly being a bit hard on digestion what is the issue? Sure, we can all agree that soy beans are trash because they are genetically modified and probably loaded with estrogen like chemicals, but I can’t really find any proof that beans are bad besides rhetoric  and hearsay? It’s always based on what so and so said. Kind of like  vegans that can’t do anything but quote other Vegan authors as their source of proof that it is the “way”. So many cultures have consumed beans for centuries without problems to health and disease. If you want to discuss digestion problems give me a few cups of uncooked broccoli and we may issues as well. Again, with beans portion control like anything is crucial.

Fourth: Low Carbing it

Yes, I know the Paleo diet isn’t a low carb diet, but unfortunately most people that are on it tend to turn it into another form of the ATKINS diet. If you are working out hard and kicking ass on your workouts you need carbs. Sure, those that want to eat paleo and get healthy carbs are usually smart and choose starchy squashes and yams, but after awhile yams and starches get old. Seriously folks Beans and rice are OK.

Fifth: Paleo Pizza and Almond Milk

This is what pisses me off the most about the Paleo Religous type. They will freak out if oats, grains, peanuts, or dairy touch their foods and they will tout eating unprocessed foods like the caveman ate yet they have cute recipes for their paleo pizza with almond meal and some sort of paleo cheese they purchased and for a wonderful desert they eat yummy almond milk ice cream shake…. Guess what Cavemen didn’t eat that crap because that too is processed. Kind of funny how we can trick ourselves into thinking something is what it isn’t. Unless you are milking the almond milk strait from the Almond nipples, it is processed.

Paleo and Sports Performance:

Also if you want to really talk about amazing world class athletes and how nutrition plays a roll how many Professional football players, soccer players, basketball, or world class fighters eat low carb or paleo for that matter. It only seems to matter to those that exercise a lot. Crossfitters tend to be notorious for high intensity/low carb paleo and in many cases it is a great way to create burnout and adrenal fatigue, but the funny thing some of the top Crossfit game contenders that really kicked ass this year didn’t eat low carb paleo. Peanut butter and Rice were a staple.

The Best Parts of Paleo

There is tons of research that Gluten and Corn could have some pretty crappy qualities, and that milk can also screw with some people’s digestion and cause inflammation. Realistically cutting those foods out alone could make a world of difference to most people without having to buy in to a certain philosophy that makes you feel less than if you have a bowl of oatmeal. When working with my clients just cutting out the bread and gluten can change their lives. Paleo really can get people on the right track, and at the end of the day it is most likely better than what 90% of the people out there are eating. It just goes too far in many cases and just doesn’t work in all situations, especially for those involved in high intensity exercise and eating low carb.”


Calories do Count – it was written in the satiety all along

9 Jan

Overeating paleo-style is still overeating

So Robb Wolf has finally admitted that yes calories do in fact count….


Even if paleo people generally had been in denial of this fact for a while, I have to say, just the phrasing of the paleo framework trotted out again and again by all the grand masters of the ancestral health world has always implied to me that at least subliminally calories have always counted.

“just listen to your body, man” – Mark Sisson

fat has higher satiety

protein has higher satiety

All this kind of talk suggests that the aim is to eat less, by means of eating foods with greater satiety.

Ergo, eat fewer calories.

Propter calories count.

I’m no wonder-amazeballs logician but it makes sense that the whole reason for eating foods that fill you up is so you eat less. So saying ‘eat as much protein and fat as you need for satiety’ is really just taking a gamble that whoever you are instructing to do this will not just keep eating for fun, and will actually be sated once they have ingested an appropriately restricted amount of calories.

So what’s all the fuss about?

The fact that the other blaring message on the foghorn along with ‘eat lots of fat and protein to satiety’ has been ‘calories don’t count’, thereby confusing people who don’t know when they are sated and think they have an unlimited licence to eat fat!

Now with Foreword from Rikard Nicholey: “Fuck you, C*nt!”

7 Sep

I have had such success with my CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss that renowned paleo blogger Rikard Nicholey of freetheenema.com has now penned a foreword endorsing the effectiveness of the diet, which will be included in version 2.0.

Rikard Nicholey’s Foreword: “Fuck you, c*nt!”

If that doesn’t inspire you to join in the fun, nothing will!

Thanks, Rikard!

Testimonials: CaveLesbian’s Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss

7 Sep
What a response! In the first 10 minutes since the cookbook was published, I received the following testimonials about the success of the CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss!!
@wodfather: I regrew hair and my lisp disssssappeared
@gone2croatan:  It cured my persistent cough and bum leg! And also got me laid!
@meeses: I think my canine anxiety might be totally gone!
@privateuser: I now have the perfect female physique, meaning shredded abs but still have big boobs and a butt. Thank you.
@cookingdirty: Just reading it cured EVERYTHING!
@GertrudeIII: I have gained higher self-esteem and smaller (looking) hips!
Don’t delay – get my free cookbook now!

Free CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss!!

7 Sep

A lot of people ask me to post more recipes on this blog. I happen to think there are enough paleo recipes floating around to fatten my entire Twitter Feed (and their wallets!) a hundred times over for twice the term of their natural lives (which is admittedly much longer if you are paleo), so I have been understandably lax.

However, I have noticed that many paleo folks are so enthusiastic about all the scrumptious paleo recipes and paleo ‘versions’ of their favourite junk foods (meatza, fat bread, bacon-with-everything, paleo pumpkin pie, EVOO mayonnaise, coconut butter, pork belly, bunless McDonalds feasts, paleo-crumbed fried chicken in duck fat) that they, like me, are having trouble shifting the last few kilos of pre-paleo lard (and I refer not to the delicious porcine lard variety – but to real human love-handle lard). To assist my calorically challenged friends in paleo land (for, it turns out calories DO count and unfettered LCHF satfat guzzling doesn’t sustain weight loss long term), I have written a paleo cookbook!! And am giving it away for free!!

My brand-spanking new CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss cookbook is based on the most recent research to turn everything we know about food and weight loss on its head – the food reward hypothesis. The recipes are specifically tailored to target fat loss through low palatability and low reward (otherwise known as “simple” or “bland”), without leaving you hungry and spending hours in the kitchen turning nuts into butter and fermenting your own sauerkraut. The theory behind food reward is that we just eat too darn much, and that’s why we get fat! And the reason we eat too darn much is that food tastes too darn good! Paleo-peeps are literally OBSESSED WITH FOOD! To free yourself from this prison of gluttony, you need my new book pronto!

But clearly a cookbook with boring and flavourless recipes will be impossible to sell. Ergo I am publishing the whole thing for free!! Right here in this blog post!

My guarantee: If you eat to fullness every day only from my recipes, I can guarantee you will lose that stubborn weight that won’t shift even though you have slavishly followed all the other popular paleo cookbook recipes!

CaveLesbian Paleo Cookbook for Weight Loss:

Steak, potato and spinach

Boil a steak
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

Chicken potato and spinach

Boil a chicken breast
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

Fish, potato and spinach

Boil a fish
Boil a potato
Steam spinach

Add to plate to serve
Do not season

**All these recipes can be easily converted to vegetarian and vegan by omitting the animal products

And there you have it! Effortless weight loss on the paleo diet without feeling hungry! (cos that’s what it’s all about!)

Paleonaughty over Christmas and New Year

11 Jan

I was fairly paleonaughty over the holiday period – not least because I was travelling for humongous periods in a car, staying at hotels, eating out, and eating food at my grandmother’s house. if you have ever had a grandmother and she has ever provided food for you, you will know that it usually breaches both conventional wisdom and the alternative hypothesis in regards to keeping off weight and being healthy.

Same goes for road trip fare.

The reaches of my naughtiness were far. I’m talking meat pies, croissants, bread, Pizza, beer, wine, Christmas cake, dips and chips, fruit salad, mcmuffins, hash browns, m&m’s, bun cha, gelato, mozzarella sticks, banana split, pancakes with maple syrup, savoury crepes, sausage rolls, um… I’m sure there was more but my dignity demands I stop now.

The weird thing is – I didn’t gain any weight over that time! AND I didn’t simply lose muscle and gain fat, because my clothes are loose and getting looser.

Continue reading

Pretty good summary of ‘the caveman diet’

22 Nov

Usually mainstream media ‘articles’ on going paleo (or ‘caveman’ – oooh!) are sensational simplistic crap. But this one is actually a great summary of the main principles:

“Here are six key elements of the Paleolithic lifestyle, according to Pedro Carrera-Bastos, a Swedish health researcher specializing in the effects of “ancestral” diets, and his colleagues.


Getting enough vitamin D is crucial to bone health, and may also play a role in preventing cardiovascular disease and some cancers. The simplest way to meet your needs: sunlight. But modern office-bound humans rarely spend enough time outside to get enough. Some hunter-gatherer cultures at high latitudes have found other ways – the Inuit, for example, rely on fatty fish for vitamin D.


Go to sleep when it’s dark, get up when it’s light. Our bodies have powerful internal clocks that try to enforce this simple rule. Even a night or two of disrupted sleep has immediate effects on your appetite hormones ghrelin and leptin. That’s why sleep patterns are closely related to obesity and metabolic syndrome: Too little sleep is most common these days, but too much isn’t good either.


An obvious one – but easier said than done in the modern world.


The typical hunter-gatherer life punctuated long periods of low stress with short bouts of acute stress that triggered the fight-or-flight response. In contrast, modern office workers often show signs of chronically elevated stress, which can have consequences such as elevated blood pressure and a weakened immune system.


Sure, paleo folks got more exercise than we do. But what kind?

-Large amounts of light-to-moderate activity, such as walking or jogging, while hunting and foraging. Estimates place the typical distance covered at five to 16 kilometres per day.

-Hard days were usually followed by easy days – though not totally sedentary.

-Short bursts of very high-intensity activity. This can be mimicked with interval training once or twice per week.

-Wide variety of daily activities that strengthen the whole body, ranging from carrying children and digging tubers to dancing.


The paleo diet is often hyped as a meat lover’s fantasy. While it varies from culture to culture, modern hunter-gatherers typically get only 35 per cent of their calories from meat, with the rest derived from plants. Even if we assume a 50-50 split, the greater caloric density of meat means that, by volume, the paleo “plate” would have had significantly more vegetables and fruit than meat on it.

BOTTOM LINE: So will going paleo really pay off with better health? As a big-picture guide to how to organize your life, definitely. But don’t get carried away with trying to recreate the exact details of a long-lost diet. Humans have changed and diversified even over the past few thousand years, so the only way to know what works best for your genes is to experiment. Go wild.”